haiku.

so i like to write. not only on here but in journals. different ones. it takes diligence but its worth it. its a risk to share, makes me vulnerable, and definitely not a necessity but the last time i did on the chance someone’d identify or feel the words said their thoughts i got notes and messages and turns out some did identify and some appreciated it – so here i am yet again. im a little nervous to share straight from the pages of my journal, but then again im certain others have felt these same emotions, so we’re in the same boat.

below are two different things i’ve written. one in about 2 minutes flat, one in a bit more time. one came from a hand that already seemed it knew what to write & could barely go fast enough, the other was pieced together coaxing out the many feelings i have. one says one thing, the other says another. i wrote one a while ago, the other was more recent. none of this matters, just my forewarning. dont judge my writing, i know it’s not perfect. call it naive, it may have poor sentence structure…but when i write i just let it flow. when an emotion comes, i write, so im sorry if it’s not how your journal enties go. here they are. read them with a skip in your step, for they are poems.

 these are not haiku’s. its titled that, however, because haikiu’s are to represent a season and the feeling you have in that season.  a season of your life.  both of these are written in a certain season of my life. so they are my haikiu’s.

 

what is, will be.

i still have that picture tucked up in that frame.

my heart still swells when someone drops your name.

sights. memories. they still creep in.

just because there are no words, doesn’t mean i dont know exactly where i’d begin

i fight. i push it away. for moments, you disappear.

and then, without warning, you are back again with me here

i wonder the thoughts that fill your mind

am i there. can you still feel what was once so strong.

did you hear those tears. do you still play that song

if we were to end up here, why is it you even came along

all these things i wonder. please don’t go & disappear

but you do, and i will and there will be nothing left to hold me here

it’s time, i know this. it’s strength, and i will show you this

dont think for a second i wished it wasn’t. but i know what is, will be

and i wont be that fool to believe you’ll be coming back for me

because what is, will be – and we are not

so my feet are forward, my heart is trusting

its my faith in His plan and the security that He’s given everything i’ve got

but i wish you well. i wish you everything

dont think for a second i wished it wasnt

but i know, what is – will be 

 __________

 

 

trails my tears.

so we sit far apart. letting time do what it promises to.

its joy i have. an admiration and appreciation for the time spent.

it wont be forgotten. but remembered now only from a distance

those memories, remain strong and true

its ok today, the gap begins to fill

ive asked for clarity, for what it all meant

i dont take it back. not a load I’m unable to bare

i’ve learned. grown. saw a heart unlike any other.

now the way we were has come, gone, and went

i wont be afraid to love. to look. to start it all over

my toes not near that line, not wishing for the event 

only good comes to mind, your name, melodies, that sweet sweet scent

less and less it stings, less and less i hear

for i know its wisdom and understanding that trails my tears

my eyes are open, yet a mask still covers

my feet are forward, yet each step can always be reassigned

i trust. i know. a journey perfectly intended is waiting for us each to find

i shouldnt wish for something that cant be given, what was – is now behind

so from here we go to tread, in opposite directions

our paths no longer intertwined

dont be sad. dont be scared. its blessings and prayer that will only be spread

better than before, thats now where i am

i wish you all the best. i wish you everything

a love, admiration, a respect to now keep quiet

that overwhelming emotion, it slowly dulls

i knew it’d come, on time’s shoulders

lines wont be written, a story that wont be told

life’s just too beautiful. each experience, i will mold

ive learned. grown. saw a heart unlike any other

its care, admiration, a respect that i’ll now keep quiet

the future will i only cling

i wont let hope, love and joy lay under my fears

because its wisdom and understanding that trails my tears

 

writing feeds my soul. yes i think so. its an unmatched feeling to put to words the feeling inside my heart. if you dont do it, dont get them out, they’ll just sit in there, twirling around, getting stuffy and never relieving those emotions. i highly recommend it. 🙂 im not depressed, and i dont typically write poems….i have so many blessings and my heart is happy…but i truly believe writing is healing and some things just need to take form by pen and paper. give it a go. that is all.

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~ by Andria on July 2, 2010.

3 Responses to “haiku.”

  1. Amazing, I was thinking yesterday how time truly heals all things. My mom always says “Matters of the heart are the hardest” …aint that the truth 🙂 Thank you for sharing

  2. Very nice. I too believe writing is a powerful way to heal. this is something i had writen many years ago.

    A memory of the future.

    The sun has long since cast its far reaching evening shadows on the earth as it set below the horizon, and here I sit eyes closed aware of little but the things in my mind. Thoughts of travel, adventure, friends around a campfire and dangers fit for books, past, present and future rolling around in the world behind my eyelids. As I replay the things that have brought me to this place one thought overwhelms all pushing sorrow and doubt away and filling me with a sense of Joy… the thought of you. The thought of talking, sharing, holding, laughing, crying and dancing, sun sets and sun rises, hot chocolate and wood stoves in winter, porch swings and stars on summer nights and the sparkle in your eyes when you smile, everything from the smell of your hair to the soft skin of your cheek pressing against my own when you hold me in your embrace. Then I remember… that all of this has not yet come to pass and then feel fear, for if I never find you this joy may never be and perhaps there will be two lonely hearts bound to spend the rest of time looking for something missed, not entirely aware of what it was.

  3. catherine…yes i think you’re right, but its also incredible to see the heart and how it heals. i feel like ‘time heals all things’ is such a hard thing to hear, yet so true.

    i just read your piece over a few times john. i like how you wrote it to the future. really well written, thanks for sharing. hope and fear about the future i feel are so closely tied, but faith is what makes hope trump. thank you so much for reading and sharing yours.

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